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Julie Carpenter-Hubin

My name is Julie Carpenter-Hubin, and I'm a divorced mother of two, remarried to a wonderful man with three children.

I initiated my divorce but declined any child support. My ex and I dissolved our marriage ten years ago and we have always had shared parenting. The children have spent more of their time in my home, but the parenting time has been very flexible. I declined child support at the time of the dissolution and have never received child support payments.

My salary has always been somewhat higher than my ex's. It was important to me that the kids have a decent place to live with their father as well as with me, and I couldn't see how that would be possible if he were to pay child support. He is always happy to split the cost of any expenses for the girls, so the fact that he doesn't pay child support "to me" doesn't in any way mean that he doesn't support his children - he absolutely does.

Frankly, I think we were able to have an amicable divorce and to maintain a civilized relationship because we had the absolute minimum contact with the court and no contact whatsoever with the child support industry. The laws in this country do not protect children's relationships with both their parents following divorce. If I had been vindictive or nasty, it would have been easy for me to have reduced the time my children had with their father and to have gotten child support (I was asked several times throughout the process if I was sure I didn't want support ordered).

That would not have been in the best interest of

my children, but if I were a vindictive person, I might have thought it was in my best interest. Shouldn't we change laws that promote the best interest of the worst people, at the expense of their children?