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Richard E. Bull, Jr.

Are the Child Support laws unfair to the non-custodial parent? I find myself in the situation where I too am a victim of these unfair laws. My soon to be ex-wife chose to quit her job, take our daughter and run to her mothers house, rather than attempt saving our marriage. She then filed for divorce, custody and Child Support.

During the initial court hearing there was no discussion of any type concerning which parent could better provide for our daughter. I was ordered to pay Child Support, which both myself and my soon to be ex agreed I would pay directly to her. This amount of "support" is 65% of what I currently pay in rent. The fact that bankruptcy had been filed a few months prior, or that there was a garnishment against my paycheck were not considered in "deciding" how much I was going to pay. Within a week I received notification in the mail that I was required to make my Child Support payments to an agency and that I was not permitted to pay my soon to be ex directly. Assuming that no changes occur in the amount of Child Support I am required to pay, I will be paying in excess of $45,000, over the next 10 years, for the privilege of seeing my daughter on the weekends.

I have made attempts at contacting the teacher where my daughter is going to school. Rather than adding another expense, in the form of long distance phone calls, I decided to write the teacher via Email. My soon to be ex was aware that I was doing this, and agreed that this would be the best alternative for making sure that I received weekly updates from the teacher concerning my daughters education. It took the teacher a full month to reply to my Email, even though she had been told by my soon to be ex that I would be contacting her this way, and then later my frustration at not hearing back from the teacher.

I am simply my daughters father, and another source of income for my soon to be ex according to the laws of the state I live in. My soon to be ex and I are planning on joint legal custody, yet as the non-custodial parent I am not given the common courtesy to be advised, in a timely manner of my daughters educational progress.

My marriage failed. My soon to be ex and I are attempting to be civil through this process, yet the state has decided that we are not able to do this on our own. Her teacher seems to think that it is too much trouble to send me regular Emails apprising me of my daughters' educational progress.

Mine is a fairly friendly divorce, yet my rights to be with and to effectively parent my daughter are denied to me, and I am forced to pay far more than the monthly cost of raising my daughter.

So again I ask, are the Child Support laws unfair to the non-custodial parent? If my situation is as much the "norm" as I have been led to believe, then I am afraid that the answer to this question is . . . .Absolutely.