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Rhonda Byrnes

I met a wonderful man who is now my husband 6 years ago, when my daughter was 1. I was invited to a Jaycee party with a friend, and there he was, with his three kids. I found out from my friends that he was divorced, with shared custody of his children. At that time in my life, I naturally assumed all non-custodial parents were "deadbeats" (like my daughter's father), and was impressed to meet a father who not only paid child support, but loved being with his children as much as possible.

What I didn't understand, was my husband had a good job, but he lived in a trailor with a roommate, had a old car, and couldn't afford to take nice vacations with his children. I soon learned that my beliefs of divorced dads wasn't very accurate. Bascially, my husband's ex decided one day she didn't want to be married. At the time, they had a baby, a 4 yr old and a 6 yr old. She never held a job done while they were married (she doesn't like to work!). Basically, when they went thru the divorce, she told my husband if she didn't get every thing she wanted, she would take the kids and leave. That meant the house, alimony, 30% of his income, including any bonuses and additional wages earned for child support until the youngest is 18, 50% of all stock and stock options he earned while they were married and he had to pay her divorce attorney and any debt they had incurred while married. He is also reponsible for all transportation costs to see the kids, and isn't granted any reduction for the time they are with him. When I saw what he was living on, I couldn't believe it.

After dating a while, we got married, and that is when the fun really started with the ex. She also got remarried, to an engineer. Apparently, it is okay for the ex and her husband to buy a $340,000 house, but if the kids tell their mom we got a new movie, she calls wanting more money. She even called an attorney, to see if she could make me pay child support for my husband's kids. After we were married, I bought a bigger house so the kids would be comfortable when they came to visit. We have her child support directly deposited into her account. My husband has never missed a payment, and only once cancelled visitation (he was on the way to pick up the kids, and my car broke down, he was stranded for hours). What does he get in return? He is never included in any school activities, or if he is invited, it is the day before. She starts fights in front of the kids and is extremely jealous of my now 6 year old daughter, who was adopted by my husband. She is nasty and ungrateful. Meanwhile, she can afford new boobs and a tummy tuck, with no job! The kids have $70.00 shoes, and all name brand stuff. It makes me mad, because I make allot more than my husband, yet we can't afford the same things for my daughter.

Also, in the state of Georgia, adopted or new children into a marriage are not allowed to be taken in consideration of any exsiting child support order. What a joke. If a man remarries, and has a child, basically in the state of Georgia, that child doesn't count. What a joke! Also, child support is on the percentage basis, so the more you make, the more you pay. The system is horrible! It makes it difficult to do the right thing, and more so than not children are used as financail pawns by the custodial parent.

Thank you,

Rhonda Byrnes