UnityWall.com

Lisa Branch

I am a mother facing the same situation that too many fathers have had to face for too long.

The system has mostly been biased in favor of the mother, but times are changing. I've spent the past 6 months in a custody battle my son's father started because his new wife wants me out of the picture. Thank God for a FOC Referee who saw things clearly and ruled accordingly.

Before their marriage, my son's father and I got along very well (we were never married) and had a very workable custody agreement. When our son was 1, I moved out and my ex began preparing for a custody fight. I recognized the importance of both parents in the child's life, and suggested we both have joint, legal & physical custody of our son, neither paying each other support since we made the same amount, and we share the expenses (daycare, copays, haircuts, etc.) equally. I carry the the medical insurance on our son and he reimburses me once a year for his half.

This agreement has worked VERY well and has kept us out of the FOC system. However, since my ex started the custody battle, our lovely legislatures passed a new law that says anyone in the FOC system WILL pay child support, (unless both parties agree to opt out), and it will be the parent who makes more money. I made $2,000 more this last year than my ex due to overtime and changing my withholdings for a few paychecks. Thus, I am now ordered to pay him support, on top of my equal share of the expenses, while he has equal custody!!!

Would someone please explain to me how that is fair? How about all the factors that make a difference in REAL LIFE, but the FOC won't even take into consideration?

My ex recently acquired the family business, but was able to manipulate and hide figures/income, so, until I can file for a reevaluation in two years, I'm stuck paying my son's father for absolutley no good reason! And, how is it that when a recommendation is made, you are given 21 days to object, which I am doing, yet the order for support and income withholding goes in immediately, BEFORE the 21 days you are given are even up? What a mess it creates!

I've been given 4 different amounts as to what I will be paying each month, and I have absolutely no faith in any of the answers I receive from the FOC!

I have always known the system was messed up, but never to this degree. Men/fathers have always gotten a bad deal, and I tried to spare my ex that same fate, while keeping my son's best interests in focus, and as repayment, I get stabbed in the back not only by my ex, but by the FOC who right along side my ex continues to twist and turn the knife that will surely be a permanent fixture in my back because we are now stuck in the FOC system!

Of course my ex won't choose to opt out, he's making a profit for doing nothing! Those who work for the FOC outta be ashamed and embarassed. I say we need to completely do away with the current system, sit down with ALL those involved, even down to the parents, and come up with a new workable and logical one.

But I'm sure the FOC would object because with the new law enacted, they bring in more money for each case now in the system from fees and costs.

Has anyone ever figured out whose friend they are?