UnityWall.com

C. David Eagle

Thank goodness my son is grown now.

Every day for over 14 years I suffered. I missed my son terribly, and seeing him one night a week simply was not enough, but it was precious. I believe that, even in that limited time, he learned from my example. I want to believe that, because he grew to be a good man and a good father himself.

"Visitation" is a dirty word. That sounds like a criminal penalty imposed when someone is found guilty of a heinous crime. My only crime was I married the wrong woman. How could our system deprive me, an exemplary father, of full parental status? It was insane, and continues to be insane for millions of people today.

"Child support", as defined and implemented today in the U.S., is immoral. It divides parental responsibilities into "direct care" and "financial support" and assigns each parent one of these responsibilities. This is immoral, and deprives the child of a loving parent.

I am a firm believer in joint custody, wherein each parent is expected to care for the child 50% of the time. Under these circumstances, no court-ordered child support payments from one parent to the other are warranted. This should be the default custody arrangement, unless there is a specific and serious showing of unfitness.

To all of the non-custodial parents who are suffering today, waiting for the day when your child comes of age and your sentence is served: Have hope. If you bear the burden during this time and do what you can to show your child love, s/he will remember. My son is now my best friend, and he and I can now revel in my role as a grandfather.

past newsletter editor for Texas Fathers for Equal Rights,

C. David Eagle